Sunday, April 29, 2007

Shelter from the Storm

My previous post may have given some the erroneous idea that I never waver through unbelief regarding our housing situation. Truth be told, though my head is always in agreement with what I know is true, my feelings tend to be more variable.

Sometimes God puts me in lessons that I do and don't want to learn. Certainly I want to grow in my faith, but I just wish it could happen without it being hard. Unfortunately, that's just not possible. What I'm learning, at times quite reluctantly, is how to own that my feelings go up and down, but that they are meant to drive me back to God. There's a great deal of intentionality in this pursuit - I cannot passively drift back to God, but like a ship in a storm I have to set my course back toward the solid rock and cling to it until I feel the ground beneath me again.

Yesterday we saw another place - the best possibility yet - but we aren't certain we should pursue it for various reasons I don't want to elaborate here. It disturbed me so much I had nightmares about it and woke convinced we shouldn't take it. Here I am, 12 hours later, thinking it's maybe a good idea to live there. My emotions are so high today that in church I teared up over the VBS announcement, which involved 5 adults dressed in sporting gear singing and dancing to the VBS theme song. I am convinced I was the only person who had that reaction. Still, I don't think peace is a lack of emotions, but a choice to rest in one place and not let them lead you away.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Trust in Him at all times, O people, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

1 comment:

Six Wilsons said...

If you only knew exactly how much I relate to every word you wrote! Well, except for the housing part, my "storm" is quite different, but a mighty storm it is. That verse is one I have been resting in as well. We are praying for your housing, God is in control. -wend