Things I never thought I'd have to say

They don't warn you, when you become a parent, that you will hear sentences coming out of your mouth that were previously inconceivable to you. Ethan usually is the one who generates these phrases from me, as he is the more physically creative of the two (do you like how I put a positive spin on that?). Over the years I've been led to say things like, "Honey, it's not a good idea to free fall off your lofted bed onto the floor, even if there is a mattress there", "Great drawing, sweetie, but you can't swing your sister from your bed by a rope" (see drawing from December 21, 2004), and "Can you please stop trying to launch mini-muffins with your catapult." After awhile it becomes quite normal to say these things.

So yesterday I added to the list when the kids were eating snacks, and I was compelled to say, "Ethan, please don't try to shoot gummies into Megan's mouth with your sling shot." While I appreciate the fact that he's enjoying this simple toy, and learning to use it well, they were at seriously close range. How do you explain a slingshot/gummie induced wound?