Thursday, August 19, 2010

A new story

I was going to say that we have just started a new chapter of our lives, but it feels more like a new story entirely. I say that because when you finish reading a good book, there's often that sense that you wish it would continue. You hate to say goodbye to it, but you know the story is resolved. That's how I feel about the last year of our lives. It was a great story, filled with old friends and new experiences of a culture that we love. But those friends have moved on and now so have we.

And when you're starting a new book, you don't know much about what's going to happen. It could be a story that sucks you in and makes you fall in love with it, or you could get partway through and think, "Why am I reading this?" I have a vague idea of where this story is going and what could happen, but so much of it is still uncertain, and I don't like that. As I was sitting on my couch this morning, I thought, "I don't know how to do life here." We are blessed to know many families in the area already, but I don't know their schedules and how we will fit into them. I know there must be places to buy food, but I don't really know where I should go. I know that I will have a new helper come September but right now I couldn't even recall her name to you. In all these things there will frustrations and joys - days when we find something and think, "This is awesome! I never knew this was here!" and other days when we think, "I just want to go crawl in a hole because I can't seem to figure this out." I like routine, and I like feeling competent, and I know that I will have little of that in the days to come.

I am thankful in the midst of this transition to have a husband who is gracious and helpful, and seemingly unstoppable, and children who are flexible and independent (which is maybe another way to say they have figured out how to entertain themselves when I can't do it for them!).

A friend once told me that when you move a house plant from one place to another, it wilts a little. But after awhile it perks up again, once it becomes accustomed to its surroundings. So I know I need to give myself grace to be a little wilted while I get my bearings. (this also reminds me that I should really go check the status of my jasmine plants on the porch!).


Rachel said...

I couldn't have said it better

Rachel said...

p.s. i just read your comment on my blog -- thanks for your thoughts. It is comforting knowing that these feelings are normal, others can relate, and that there will be those light bulb, exciting moments.
I haven't gotten your letter yet and i'm not sure if your parents have either. Christopher is going home next weekend though so maybe then ... =)