Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I may never want to leave

Some people out there, my parents in particular, may not want to hear that with each passing day, I come to believe that I may never want to leave Singapore. This thought train has taken a long time to pull into the station.

Most of the pleasures here are material, some are aesthetic, some are convenience. Aside from the pervasive Asian culture, our lives here are a dramatic difference to life in China. I've come to think of it as America without a lot of the problems.

But it's been hard for me to enjoy, for a variety of reasons. This past Sunday though, our pastor preached from 1 Timothy 6:17-19, where we are commanded not to put our hope in riches, which are so uncertain, but also to enjoy all that God has provided for our "enjoyment."

I haven't allowed myself to enjoy a lot of little things here (like thinking, "I'd like some of the saran wrap that sticks to the bowl without wrapping around" and voila! there it was at the store. That didn't happen in my life for about 5 years). I feel spoiled, distracted by earthly things, and sorry for those without these luxuries. But does me not enjoying them help those things?

I need to learn to enjoy these things "as though not engrossed in them." I want to fully enjoy all the blessings we have here, but not put my hope or my heart into them. I want to carry them lightly, and with joy.

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