I've made it through one month of Project 365! I like how it is encouraging me to look around more and to capture things I wouldn't ordinarily capture, like this coloring time with Megan. It's the little things.
I was little, I was a big fan of the Little Miss books, so I was happy
when someone tapped into this market and started making Little Miss t-shirts.
The first one I bought was this one:
I bought it somewhat ironically, or maybe just by faith, because I am not always the most cheerful person on the block. I also bought this one:
Which is maybe a little more true. Ok a lot more true. I have realized lately that what I really need is one that says, "Little Miss Control Freak." I don't like the fact that I try so hard to control my world. In fact, I used to think that I was more of a recovering controlaholic, because there are ways I have learned to unclench, but God has made it clear to me that at a deeper level, the desire to control is still alive and well in me.
I think in some way we all like control. Because what is control but trying to be the gods of our own little worlds? And isn't that what sin is - a rage against God and His Lordship over us? We are born into war against God, and laying down our weapons in complete surrender is a long and continual process.
I saw this clearly with the playground bully. In Gina's world, other children wouldn't beat on mine. I saw this when, on vacation, our friend's daughter tripped and fell on some rocks, requiring 7 stitches, while under my care. In my world, that wouldn't happen. I see this when my dog continues to pee in the house, even though the self-proclaimed god of the house is displeased. Each time, I have had to wrestle with God, and He reminds me, "Ah, but I am God, and you are not, Gina."
I like what Anne Lamott says about this, "It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what keep things running right."
True words, but not so easy to do. Yet I'm encouraged by the very real truth that He is patient and gracious to show me these things in order that I could become a woman who truly has surrendered all in childlike trust. So when He gently reminds me that I am stomping around my world demanding my way, I hope to listen and confess and let Him have a little more of me.
And also, I need to find a "Little Miss Trusting" shirt.