I’ve learned
something by being an avid follower of others on Pinterest: lots of people have
blogs. Interesting blogs. Blogs that seem to have legions of followers and
generate money. One blog I found raised $25,100 in 10 hours, and no one gave
over $25. That’s a lot of people
interested in one blog.
So here’s
the problem: I’m jealous. I want people to read my blog and tell their friends
about it and want to advertise on my blog because it would be good business. I
want people to ask me to review things on my blog and offer me book deals
because of it and maybe even a reality show (side note: I would NEVER want to
be on a reality show. But I wouldn’t mind being asked). In short, I want
attention.
I don’t like
that I want attention. I wish it weren’t true, but it is. So instead of denying
it, I want to look it in the face and say, “What’s up girlfriend? You want to
tell me why this is so important to you?” In a nice way. You know, a way that
makes her want to sit down over a cup of coffee (or in my case, an ice cold
Coke Zero) and spill her guts.
And I think
what she/I would say is that as much as God has opened my eyes to how I use the
attention of others to find value and has given me freedom in it, it will
always be a temptation for me. A strong one. One that makes me not even want to
look at the internet because I don’t want to see another person who seems to be
getting more attention than me. So what do I do with that?
I think I
let myself grieve it, first of all – grieve the fact that despite my
redemption, there are parts of me that seek life and love in places other than
God. I confess it as sin, because it is – a prideful attempt to justify myself.
Then I thank Him for the love and grace He has for me that He would show me
this and not leave me blind to it. And I thank Him that it can be less and less
true all the time, by His Spirit transforming my heart. I remind myself that
life is about His glory, not my own, and that all my worth is found in Him.
That’s good news.
1 comment:
Gina- what you wrote is exactly the same way that I feel. I found myself thinking? Why don't people comment on my blog? Why do I only have 12 followers? Should I even bother? Etc, etc. I read that blog of the woman who has the monkey company, and thought, how did she do that? Her blog is so cool! I want to be like her! Sigh! Thanks for sharing this. It really spoke to my heart!
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