Heebie Jeebies

So tonight when I came back from our church Bible study, Ethan realized he hadn't brushed his teeth before we left (our kids fall asleep at our friends' house because we don't get home until 11). When we turned on the light in the bathroom, we had an unwelcome house guest. We've had unexpected geckos - they freak me out, but this was a cockroach. This was beyond freak. WAY beyond freak.

In China, we had cockroaches, lots of them, but the biggest they ever got was about an inch long and not even a centimeter wide (look at me mixing measurement systems). Often you'd stare at a little spot on the carpet for a long time, waiting for it to move so you could determine if it was a cockroach or a piece of dust.

Not so with this one. This was one of those special imported variety from America where everything is super sized. I suppose it came in tonight because it knew Erik was gone. I searched the bathroom for a weapon. A box of kleenex was the best I could find. I thought maybe I could chase it out of the house, but it wouldn't cooperate with my herding. When it went into Megan's room, my mother bear instinct kicked into high gear. I chased it into Ethan's room, where I called for reinforcements, "Ethan, get the vacuum!" I was hoping that the mere suction would kill it, but these American boys don't give in easily. When I took the vacuum back out to the storage room and dropped the attachment, it fell out on its back. In the process of running for one of Erik's shoes, it had righted itself.

I was not about to let all that effort go to waste. I beat that thing with everything in me. It is now a smear on my storage room floor. My son thinks I'm a hero. I think everything that touches me now is alive.