What retired Europeans do for vacation

I enjoy a morning on the beach reading a good book. And that is the extent of how my vacation time would line up with the average European tourist here. Our hotel is flooded with them - not just from Europe but a large contingency from Scandinavia as well. Their goal seems to be sitting by the pool in the smallest swimsuit possible for days on end, plowing through piles of Dan Brown books. Dan Brown is the official sponsor of the European vacation in Thailand in case you didn't know. They run out in the wee hours of the morning to reserve a chair by the pool with one of the pool towels, eat breakfast, and then bake for the rest of the day until they look like brown leather.

On the one hand, you have to admire the freedom they have to wear tiny swimsuits regardless of the shape or size of their bodies. On the other hand, I feel like it infringes a bit on my desire not to see it. So we're in a bit of a conflict.

They don't appreciate the presence of the 1350 people at our conference, about 250 of which are children. We block their sun, distract them from Dan Brown, and generally make their vacation too noisy. They make me feel like I'd look stellar in a two piece. I think I'm winning.