Well done, China

Dear China,

Thank you for finally making a pretty decent saltine. For years I've hunted and hoped for just a plain old cracker and you've given me crackers that are greasy or flavored funny, or too thick or not salty (in direct opposition to the name "saltine"). In moments of desperation I have succumbed to paying exorbitant prices for imported saltines, so great was my desire to enjoy them.

I hesitated to buy your "original saltine" crackers in fear of being disappointed once again, but you succeeded in proving that you continue to develop at a rapid pace (because saltines are a definitive mark of a cultured society). They're about as close to Premium brand as I could hope. Well done, China, well done.