Perspectives in driving

The level of lawlessness which prevails on the streets here is really mind-boggling, not to mention life-threatening at times. I've mentioned in a previous post my gradual, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" stance which I've adopted in response to some of this lawlessness. This certainly helps me extend grace to those who drive like there are no rules, although it's probably developing habits in me which I should not replicate when I return to the States. (let me extend a preemptive apology if I pull bonehead moves on my next visit and you happen to be driving with me - just kick me and remind me where I am).

There are a few things which I will not do, however, and for these circumstances I have decided that instead of imitation, my coping strategy will be imagination. For example, when a car goes weaving in and out on the highway at breakneck speeds (this rarely happens, by the way. Most people never hit the speed limit) I pretend that it is someone rushing to the hospital. This makes perfect sense, as every ambulance I have ever seen here has been stuck in traffic. Odds seem better if you do it yourself.

Another example, much more common - someone is driving 40km/hr on the highway, with no apparent obstruction. Furthermore, they are doing this is in the fast lane. When this happens, I have started asking myself, "What if that were my daughter at age 16, learning to drive, nervous, still figuring things out?" I would want someone to give her grace, so I simply pass them in another lane. Granted, most 16 years old probably need to be told to slow down rather than speed up, but again I think this makes sense. I don't know the stats, but I would guess that the majority of people on the roads here have been driving for fewer than 5 years. It's like a whole country of teenage drivers who are not quite sure what they're doing.

I have yet to imagine a plausible excuse for the person who misses his exit and drives backward down the highway to catch it, or the guy who turns left from the right turn lane, but I'm working on it. As always, life here is about perspective.

If you can't beat 'em . . .

Legends tell of perfectly sane, law abiding citizens turned crazy on the streets of China. People who spent their first months driving here cursing every illegal move, crying out versions of "donkey!" to other drivers, vowing to rid the streets of these outlaws, now find themselves thinking of, nay even doing, those very things.

I never thought I'd be one of them. Oh how far I have fallen.

Today as I cruised the streets of my traffic infested city, I found myself thinking, "When my family comes, they are going to be appalled at how I drive." I don't slow down to make right turns. I just expect people to let me in (and they do - my car is usually bigger than theirs). I park in questionable places. I weave. I pass people in no passing zones if they are driving too slowly for me. I drive in the bike lane if I want to turn sooner than the people in front of me. I have yet to make a right turn from the inside left lane in front of two lines of traffic, or to back down an entrance ramp because I changed my mind. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

But here's the good thing about my anarchy - I'm more gracious to others who pull the same bonehead moves. It's just the way we drive here. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Already an adventure

To test out my new unlimited almightiness and freedom (I wonder when that's going to get old for me?) I decided to be extremely lazy and drive to the new grocery store 5 blocks away. Normally I might take my bike or walk, but I planned to buy a lot and needed an easy way to get it home. Great Wall Hover to the rescue!

I'll admit, I was feeling the freedom, after I deflected car guarding/money extorting man with, "I'm in a hurry. I'll talk to you when I get back!"
I thought, "Wouldn't it be great if there's an underground carpark at the mall?"

And there was! With 382 spaces! But as I drove down the ramp into the carpark, I thought, "This seems really dark." I came around the corner to a large blue metal door that was shut. Which meant I had to drive backwards up the ramp. Don't panic! All that "backing into parking spaces" expertise I picked up in Singapore to the rescue. Thankfully it was a straight ramp.

Inside, I discovered that I am not the only one who knows the new grocery store is open. You really have to admire the long suffering quality built into this culture. The line to get fruits and vegetables weighed was at least 40 people long. I'm talking people waiting probably 15 minutes just to get three carrots. I have no such quality in me. I'll go later. I did pick up a truckload of chicken though - my main purpose in going.

After paying, I happily carted my chicken out to the car, hopped in, and drove home. I parked far away from our gate, hoping to avoid another encounter with car dude, but he waved me down. I promised him my husband would talk to him. Conversation averted!

Let the adventures begin!

Unlimited Almightiness and Freedom

Who doesn't want unlimited almightiness and freedom? Who thinks they might be able to obtain unlimited almightiness and freedom? Well, I'll tell you today that it can be had in China. IF you own a Great Wall Hover. And now we do.

I prayed every day this week that we would get our car before Erik leaves on a long trip today. As I stood on the street corner near our complex, waiting for a sighting of the ever elusive taxis (the smell of luxury vehicles scares us away from our condo, despite the fact that there are some of us who DON'T drive them), I kept thinking, "God, you're not giving us the car because you want me to learn to be patient, is that right? Well I don't want to learn patience! I want our car!" I believe God is unmoved by these displays of immaturity. I think He just sort of chuckles at them in a gentle way.

But yesterday morning, we got the call from the dealership that the car had arrived. Thankfully, Erik had the day off and was able to jump through all their hoops of paying, getting the car inspected, and signing (and of course stamping - lots of stamping) paperwork. He even made it back in time for us to stupidly brave Friday night traffic so we could meet friends for dinner. (in the end, totally worth it).

Now I am looking at a day of errands that need to be run, and I'm not even daunted, because I have the car. Indeed, I am already feeling the unlimited almightiness and freedom. Or at least the freedom. Maybe the almightiness will come with time.

If you're wondering why I keep saying "unlimited almightiness and freedom" you need to go to the link.

The Official Car of Injustice

One question the Chinese government neglected to include on the driver's examination study guide was:

If a Black Audi pulls a bonehead, life threatening move on the road, should you:
1. Honk loudly
2. Call the police and report it
3. Force the driver off the road and yell at him
4. Nothing. It's a Black Audi.

The correct answer is #4. Perhaps wrapped into the price of the car is a get out of jail and traffic violations free card for Audi drivers. We're not sure, but whatever it is, people driving Black Audis seem to feel they own the roads and are entitled to constant right of way. You shouldn't cross a Black Audi. It is the official car of injustice in China.

I found this out the hard way tonight. My friend and I were walking our five kids to a nearby restaurant. A car was pulling up onto the sidewalk where we were. Once he cleared a concrete telephone pole, he sped ahead, coming dangerously close to the kids and me. Close enough that it was no effort for me to reach out and smack my hand against the car to demonstrate our closeness and my frustration.

At first it seemed nothing would happen, but soon he slowed down and got out of his car. He unfortunately happened to be one of the few Chinese men who can tower over me. In fact he was quite large. And quite angry. He began to come toward me quickly, and immediately two nearby men grabbed both his arms and held him back while he stood about a foot and a half from me and yelled in my face. At the same time, his wife came and stood to my left, yelling at me. I told them they were not being careful of the children, but it was obvious that no amount of reasoning on my part was going to make them suddenly feel remorseful and apologetic.

Normally situations like that completely unsettle me. But when I realized there was nothing I could do, I became very calm and just walked away (with my friend, who was wisely herding the kids away from the angry Chinese man). I expected my heart to be racing and my body to be shaking, but I was fine. Very weird.

When I told Erik the story in the restaurant, he said, "Was it a Black Audi?" I didn't realize until that moment that it was. No wonder he was furious - how dare a puny little foreigner call him on something? He's untouchable! Next time I'll check what kind of car it is before I call people on their crazy driving.

Driving education comes in handy on Chinese roads

Remember when I told you that there was a question on the driving test regarding what to do when you encounter a flock of sheep on the road? If you don't, here it is again:

When encountering a flock of sheep crossing the road, the driver should:
1. Honk continuously to drive away the flock
2. Speed up and bypass the flock
3. Drive slowly and use the vehicle to scare away the flock
4. Reduce speed and go slowly, or stop to yield when necessary.

I didn't think I would need this information, but I was wrong. I can't tell you how fun it was to be wrong.

Last Friday my friend Jen and I piled our five combined kids in her car and set off for another furniture warehouse. We were only a few miles away from it, in an area that could be characterized as "country roads" when sure enough, there was a flock of sheep crossing the road. I tried to get Jen to honk continuously to drive away the flock, or to at least use the vehicle to scare away the sheep, but she was an obedient Chinese driver and reduced her speed and went slowly.

Falling snakes, contraband explosives, and donkeys driving cars

Back in my younger days when I was oh so much more foolish, I pulled a bonehead move by passing a car so closely on a two lane highway that both the car I was passing and the car coming toward me were pulling off the road. That, I'm sorry to say, is how many overtaking experiences go down here in China. When this happens and you are the one being overtaken, it's tempting to scream something about the "donkey" driving the other car. But when it happened yesterday in our second Wild China adventure we refrained because there were children present.

We headed out of town about 100km in the other direction looking for a place called Black Dragon Pool. I decided I needed to gain more confidence in driving here so I took the wheel. It was mainly highway until the last 30 km, when it began to be winding mountain road. That's where we encountered said donkeys.

Once safely at our destination, we started hiking. Wow - we thought Ling Shan was a sight to see. This rivals stuff you see in Colorado! Beautiful rocky mountains dip down to flowing waterfalls and creeks. The kids were in heaven once we let them loose into the stream, where they became "undammers", helping the creek to flow as much as possible. Along the hike there were pools where you could rent little inflated boats for 20Y. After hiking all the way up and back, several of us paddled out, trying to get as close to the waterfall as we could. Many happy Chinese walked away that day with pictures of foreigners screaming with joy. Happiness all around.

Happiness turned to screaming on our way out though, when something dropped out of a hanging tree, landed on our friend's son's head, and smacked to the ground. It was a snake! It slithered away, thankful for someone to break its fall, and we spent the rest of the walk trying to encourage a six year old that having a snake fall on your head and living to tell is really super cool!

We decided to take the other way back home, which involved driving around the back side of the mountains. It took a lot longer but it was worth it! Wow - what views. At one corner there was an opportunity to climb up a short peak so we grabbed the chance. The second we were out of our vehicles, we were told by an ancient Chinese man standing there that the experience would cost us two kuai a piece. Ok, buddy, since you've planted your flag out here in the middle of nowhere, we'll oblige. But two kuai became so worth it when he started talking to Erik about something that would make a "boom boom" sound. He brought us over to his little cart of innocent drinks, lifted up his goods, and showed Erik the surely illegal grenade like explosives to be had for five kuai a piece. Who can pass up a chance to throw something into a deep valley and hear it explode? Not Americans! Erik pulled the pin, threw it, heard it hit the ground and said, "It didn't do anything." Two seconds later, kaboom!!

We ran into a few more donkeys driving cars on the rest of our drive. It was all worth it though to see such beautiful scenery and to give our kids a chance to roam freely in nature. What will we see next?