Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Choice is Clear

Well, I did it. I managed to get up at 5 a.m. this morning. I thought I was going to do it on Sunday and Monday as well, and didn't know why I slept through my alarm (you might argue that it was because I was tired, but I will counter with the fact that I am an amazingly light sleeper who cannot do that). I realized yesterday afternoon that it was because my watch was set for pm when it should have been am. Might explain why it was going off at 5 pm.

So I started what I hope will be a good pattern. I got up, spent an hour studying the Word and praying, then set out for a 3 mile run, showered, got ready, had breakfast, and still had time before we wanted to start homeschool (at 8) which helped me walk into school with a positive attitude. Contrast this to yesterday, when I woke up late, took too long running down to Mustafa and back for the much needed cocoa to complete my brownies, kept redirecting the kids to whatever they could do while independently while I was getting ready, and then spent the rest of the morning feeling frazzled and grumpy. I could have been used for a case study of "What it looks like when you aren't walking in power of the Spirit" a.k.a. "Joylessness."

I'm realizing that in so much of life, the choice is easier when there is a clear picture of why you are doing something. And this involves not only what you could have if you make the choice, but also what will happen if you don't. This thought originated from a quote in The 4:8 Principle, "If you only care enough for a result, you will almost certainly attain it. Only you must then really wish these things, and wish them exclusively, and not wish at the same time a hundred other incompatible things just as strongly." (William James)

So I want to be a spiritually and physically healthy person who loves and schools her children well, is a blessing to her husband and others. But I can't just want that, because in order to have that, I have to not want at the same time things like an extra hour of sleep, or to stop exercising when it gets hard. Because those things are incompatible with what I want. I'm thankful for the blatant object lesson of these last two days to show me what could be.

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